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About Domestic
Violence

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Are You Being Abusive?
Myths and Facts


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Myths & Facts About Violence

There are many common myths about domestic violence that perpetuate a distorted view about its nature and causes. The following list provides a starting point; we hope that it will prompt you to examine your beliefs and provide you with helpful facts.

Myth #1
Anger causes domestic violence: Batterers are not angrier than the rest of us. They use anger as an excuse and justification for their behavior. We all experience anger, but we do not have to express it in abuse of others.

Myth #2
Batterers "lose of control" of their temper: Battering is not loss of control; it is the exertion of power and control of one partner over the other.

Batterers are usually violent only toward their partners or their children. They make sure that others are unaware of the abuse; they abuse behind closed doors, and make sure no one talks about it. If they assault physically, batterers often inflict injuries on parts of the body that are covered by clothing, or they pull hair, or they choke--injuries that rarely leave obvious marks. 60% of battered women are beaten while they are pregnant, often in the stomach. Many assaults last hours. Many are planned.

Myth #3
Domestic violence occurs only in uneducated, minority or dysfunctional families: Domestic violence touches every demographic group--regardless of race, ethnicity, economics, class, sexual orientation, occupation, or education. There are doctors, ministers, psychologists, police, attorneys, judges, and other professionals who beat their partners. Approximately 50% of all couples experience domestic violence at some time in their lives.

Myth #4
If a battered woman really wants to leave, she can: Any woman who considers leaving her abuser faces risks. 65% of battered women who are killed are murdered by their abusers when--or after--they leave.

Additional issues face battered Latinas. Batterers isolate their partners, ruin their credit, get them fired, don't allow them to go to school, and threaten deportation. Latinas generally suffer from unequal access and opportunities--racism and a lack of support from institutions, such as the police, church, and the legal system--that make leaving a partner extremely difficult.

Myth #5
Domestic violence is a women's issue: It is true that 93% of victims are women. Domestic violence, however, is not only a women's issue:

  • 7% of victims are men
  • domestic violence occurs in homosexual relationships
  • domestic violence is the leading indicator of juvenile delinquency (see Partnership para Paz) . Men have a significant role in supporting women, holding other men accountable, and teaching young men about respectful, nonviolent relationships.

Myth #6
Drugs and alcohol cause domestic violence: Drugs and alcohol can increase the danger level and have been found to be present in at least 50% of domestic violence cases. However, many alcoholics or drug users do not batter, and there are many batterers who do not use drugs and alcohol. Stopping the assailant's drinking will not end the violence.

Batterers who are alcoholics or use drugs have separate issues to confront if they want help--their addiction and their abusive behavior. Each problem must be addressed independently.

 

 

 

 

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